Today is International Friendship Day 2024, This day honours friends and their important role in improving our lives. Friends make life so much easier, whether they are going on a trip with us or are just listening to our issues and offering advice. Not only is their presence important during difficult times, but they also make a big difference when they join us in celebrating our victories and sharing our joy. One could say that living in the world without friends would be far more challenging.

The day was proclaimed in 2011 by the United Nations General Assembly. They wanted to promote the idea that "friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities."

Friendships, especially in later life are of vital importance, and here at Inspired Villages we have employed designated ‘’Friendship Managers’’ who are a vital part of our business model. Inspired Friendships was started in 2020, and it has provided friendship services, trips, coffee mornings and more in the local Kent area, the region of our Ledian Gardens Village in Maidstone.

We interviewed one of the friendship managers, Wendy Pfieffer, about her job, and the importance of friendships at all ages.

So Wendy, where did Inspired Friendships start?

In April 2019, I worked with a local Age UK managing a befriending service, when Jamie Bunch, the CEO of Inspired Villages, attended one of our events. I always say that was his ‘Simon Cowell moment’! However, unlike Simon Cowell, instead of seeing pound signs, Jamie saw the profound impact a successful friendship service had within the community, helping to combat loneliness and isolation for older people. Little did Jamie know then, that in just over a year, he would have the opportunity to turn his vision into reality.

In July 2020, my colleague Diane and I received redundancy notices from the charity. Inspired Villages recognising the need for support for older people within the community, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic when everyone was struggling with loneliness,  approached us to establish a similar service within Inspired Villages.

In August 2020, Inspired Friendships was officially launched.

Before becoming a friendship manager, what was your background? Had this always been a passion of yours?

In 2012, I was employed by a charity working with people with disabilities. Becoming somewhat disillusioned with some of the things I witnessed, I began looking for something else, really just as a stepping stone to enable me to leave that job.

I saw an advert to establish a totally new befriending service within the community at a local Age UK and since this was a blank canvas, I thought I would give it a go. To be honest, I did not expect to stay more than maybe a couple of years, but it suited my needs at the time to enable me to move on.

Little did I know that working with older people was going to be my calling and bring me the most job and life satisfaction I had ever had.

How many members of Inspired Friendships are there? And what is the average age of the members?

We currently have 132 members within Inspired Friendships Kent. Our youngest member is 59 and our oldest 101. We have a very varied diary of events which encourage our members to remain active and independent. By promoting active participation in local events, Inspired Friendships nurtures a sense of inclusion, wellbeing and belonging, which we feel helps our members live healthier, more independent lives for longer. However we appreciate that not everyone is able to be active outside of their home and when possible, we also offer a telephone friendship service and home visits.

Is the Inspired Friendships service only available within an Inspired Village?

Absolutely not! In fact, this is a common misconception. Whilst every resident is welcome to join Inspired Friendships, we exist to support older people who do not live in an Inspired Village and quite probably never will. Currently, out of the 132 members with Inspired Friendships in Kent, only three are residents. Everyone else lives independently within the local community which surrounds Ledian Gardens in Maidstone.

What is the benefit of being part of Inspired Friendships?

I think this question is best answered by some of our own members.

Eric 84

I have been a member of Inspired Friendship since the beginning and I have to say that it has changed my life. I have lots more new friends and I always look forward to seeing them at our gatherings. Wendy and Diane are always there for us if we need any help. In short Inspired has been a Godsend.

Wendy 67

Under the care and umbrella of Wendy and Diane’s commitment to help stop loneliness, Inspired Friendships is a life line for a lot of people. It’s a shame I can’t always join in, but when I do it’s like old friends who just catch up from where they left off. Without Inspired Friendships, a lot of people would be very isolated, because as oldies we can be the forgotten generation.

Jenny 78

I recently met a friend who I have not seen for some time. She said to me that I looked so…pausing for the right word…

She then said "Happy" and  I said "I am".

I haven't been able to say that for years. I think that says it all!

Linda 59

I was introduced to this group by my best friend and dialysis buddy, and I am so grateful that she did as I have met the most wonderful group of people that make you feel very welcome. Wendy and Diane are the most amazing people I have ever met, always there to help and to look after you especially when you are ill, always on the phone to make sure you are ok and looking after yourself. When we have friends, we feel we have support and are not alone, which makes us more resilient, often coping more with difficult times in our lives.

What is your favourite thing about your job?

Oh my goodness, where to start! Every day, I count myself fortunate to be part of this amazing group of 'lovely oldies' – which, I know, might not be the most politically correct way of describing our members, but to me, that's what they are.

I am incredibly grateful to work with one of my own best friends, and we keep each other going because, as much as I love what I do, there are days when we both feel the pressure of being the support network for so many people.

We are the ones they tell their worries to, the ones who support them when they are grieving, and the ones who celebrate with them when they are happy. Sometimes, we know they need to chat by what they don't say rather than what they do say. We get called on for help with the strangest of requests, like, "Wendy, where can I find a sieve? I have a set of three, but the middle one has broken and I need to replace just that one. Can you help?"

As a group of friends, we laugh together and we cry together. There are days when they test my patience to within an inch, but I wouldn't change any of them because they are the absolute best group of friends I could ever wish for.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that as much as I am there for them, if I ever need a listening ear or a hug, there is not one of them who wouldn't be there for me too.

To you, why are friendships important, especially in older age?

As people age, we often face challenges such as loss of loved ones and health issues, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Friendships provide emotional support, companionship and perhaps most importantly, a sense of belonging. 

Friendships allow us shared experiences. At our meet-ups I love nothing better than to hear everyone chatting ‘the sound of friendship’ which is quite deafening at times!

I think Linda sums friendship up perfectly in her quote:

‘When we have friends, we feel we have support and are not alone, which makes us more resilient, often coping more with difficult times in our lives.’